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Martin Thoma 2014-08-13 23:09:10 -04:00
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\begin{document} \begin{document}
\maketitle \maketitle
\yinipar{\color{black}I}'ve always felt a little lost in life, like I never received complete instructions on who I'm supposed to be. Everyone else around me seemed to know exactly who they were. Their lives would fly right by me; their GPSs locked on to destinations while I just sat idling in the street. In high school I never did any extracurricular activities because I couldn't figure out if I was a sports person or a music person. And it was no different in college. I wandered through four different majors, unable to decide who I wanted to be. I just felt like a blank slate.\\ \yinipar{\color{black}I}'ve always felt a little lost in life, like I never received complete instructions on who I'm supposed to be. Everyone else around me seemed to know exactly who they were. Their lives would fly right by me; their GPS's locked on to destinations while I just sat idling in the street. In high school I never did any extracurricular activities because I couldn't figure out if I was a sports person or a music person. And it was no different in college. I wandered through four different majors, unable to decide who I wanted to be. I just felt like a blank slate.\\
And if I was a blank slate, Micah York was The Starry Night - authentic, beautiful, perfect. He was my exact antithesis which is what attracted me to him in the first place. He was born knowing \textit{exactly} who he was and what he was about. His confidence and certainty in himself was an all but tangible element of him.\\ And if I was a blank slate, Micah York was The Starry Night - authentic, beautiful, perfect. He was my exact antithesis which is what attracted me to him in the first place. He was born knowing \textit{exactly} who he was and what he was about. His confidence and certainty in himself was an all but tangible element of him.\\
We first met in our freshman year of college; he was a neuroscience student and I was majoring in History. We dated our sophomore year, after I changed my major to Nanotechnology. We broke up in our junior year, just before I decided I wanted a degree in Psychology, instead. And he asked me a favor our senior year, just after my guidance counselor told me it was too late to switch majors again.\\ We first met in our freshman year of college; he was a neuroscience student and I was majoring in History. We dated our sophomore year, after I changed my major to Nanotechnology. We broke up in our junior year, just before I decided I wanted a degree in Psychology, instead. And he asked me a favor our senior year, just after my guidance counselor told me it was too late to switch majors again.\\
Our last semester of college was beginning soon and Micah had been applying to grad schools. He wanted to get his Masters in Neurobiology and I helped him with the applications when I had time. I knew Micah was under a lot of stress to nail his senior thesis so I was surprised when he asked me over to his house for a “party” that January. I should have known something was up because Micah was a meticulous student and he didnt throw parties ever.\\ Our last semester of college was beginning soon and Micah had been applying to grad schools. He wanted to get his Masters in Neurobiology and I helped him with the applications when I had time. I knew Micah was under a lot of stress to nail his senior thesis so I was surprised when he asked me over to his house for a “party” that January. I should have known something was up because Micah was a meticulous student and he didn't throw parties ever.\\
When I arrived at his off campus apartment, I considered not even getting out of the car. His flat was dark and quiet, there was definitely no party. Just what was he up to? I picked up my phone to call Micah and beg off but curiosity suddenly got the better of me and I hung up.\\ When I arrived at his off campus apartment, I considered not even getting out of the car. His flat was dark and quiet, there was definitely no party. Just what was he up to? I picked up my phone to call Micah and beg off but curiosity suddenly got the better of me and I hung up.\\
When I walked into the familiar TV-less living room I saw two familiar faces and two strange ones.\\ When I walked into the familiar TV-less living room I saw two familiar faces and two strange ones.\\
There was Micah, of course, and Micahs friend Sean Nichols, an organic chemistry major. The other two people were introduced to me as Irina Bradley, another med student, and Holly Bish, a philosophy major.\\ There was Micah, of course, and Micah's friend Sean Nichols, an organic chemistry major. The other two people were introduced to me as Irina Bradley, another med student, and Holly Bish, a philosophy major.\\
Irina the med student scooted over and made room for me on the couch. I sat down hesitantly and waited for Micah to begin whatever it was he was doing. He rose and walked to the middle of the room.\\ Irina the med student scooted over and made room for me on the couch. I sat down hesitantly and waited for Micah to begin whatever it was he was doing. He rose and walked to the middle of the room.\\
\enquote{Thank you all for coming. Im sure youre wondering why youre here. Im sorry this isnt a party, but I knew I \textit{had} to get you here by any means necessary.}\\ \enquote{Thank you all for coming. I'm sure you're wondering why you're here. I'm sorry this isn't a party, but I knew I \textit{had} to get you here by any means necessary.}\\
Micah paused, for effect Im sure, took a deep breath and smiled.\\ Micah paused, for effect I'm sure, took a deep breath and smiled.\\
\enquote{I have selected each of you to take part in the greatest experiment of not only your lives but perhaps even the \textit{world}. My doctoral thesis.}\\ \enquote{I have selected each of you to take part in the greatest experiment of not only your lives but perhaps even the \textit{world}. My doctoral thesis.}\\
I rolled my eyes. Classic Micah. He may be many things, but humble wasnt one of them. Jackass was.\\ I rolled my eyes. Classic Micah. He may be many things, but humble wasn't one of them. Jackass was.\\
\enquote{And what's your thesis?} I asked him nonchalantly, as if his previous statement hadnt been utterly stupid.\\ \enquote{And what's your thesis?} I asked him nonchalantly, as if his previous statement hadn't been utterly stupid.\\
\enquote{A conclusive essay detailing what happens after human death.}\\ \enquote{A conclusive essay detailing what happens after human death.}\\
Irina the med student laughed.\\ Irina the med student laughed.\\
Micah bristled but stayed silent. Sadly, I knew him well enough to know he was serious.\\ Micah bristled but stayed silent. Sadly, I knew him well enough to know he was serious.\\
\enquote{How do you intend to prove anything?} I asked. \enquote{What kind of experiments will you be doing?}\\ \enquote{How do you intend to prove anything?} I asked. \enquote{What kind of experiments will you be doing?}\\
\enquote{Well, Bridget, Im going to kill myself.}\\ \enquote{Well, Bridget, I'm going to kill myself.}\\
The room fell quiet and Micah, mistaking the shocked horror for awed silence, stood up a little taller and held out a hand silencing any questions.\\ The room fell quiet and Micah, mistaking the shocked horror for awed silence, stood up a little taller and held out a hand silencing any questions.\\
\enquote{You can't be serious.}\\ \enquote{You can't be serious.}\\
\enquote{Oh, I am and it's completely safe. I am going to be the first person in the world to prove or disprove the existence of an afterlife.}\\ \enquote{Oh, I am and it's completely safe. I am going to be the first person in the world to prove or disprove the existence of an afterlife.}\\
@ -61,14 +61,14 @@ I narrowed my eyes at him and considered. Micah was crazy, beyond crazy, but he
\enquote{On local wildlife.}\\ \enquote{On local wildlife.}\\
\enquote{So never on a person.}\\ \enquote{So never on a person.}\\
\enquote{No, never on a person but it \textit{is} safe.} Sean said quickly.\\ \enquote{No, never on a person but it \textit{is} safe.} Sean said quickly.\\
\enquote{So then how \textit{does} it work?} Irina asked. She took a step back toward the couch and thats when I knew Micah had her. I took my hand off the door knob.\\ \enquote{So then how \textit{does} it work?} Irina asked. She took a step back toward the couch and that's when I knew Micah had her. I took my hand off the door knob.\\
Micah gestured to Sean.\\ Micah gestured to Sean.\\
\enquote{I've developed a poison and a biologic. I call them the Romeo and Juliet serums. Juliet is a poison that kills the body. Romeo is a biologic, or antidote for lack of a better word, that restarts it.}\\ \enquote{I've developed a poison and a biologic. I call them the Romeo and Juliet serums. Juliet is a poison that kills the body. Romeo is a biologic, or antidote for lack of a better word, that restarts it.}\\
\enquote{Clinical death will only take place for 30 seconds.” Micah cut in. “No brain damage, no organ damage.}\\ \enquote{Clinical death will only take place for 30 seconds.” Micah cut in. “No brain damage, no organ damage.}\\
“Yes, its perfectly safe; the body will only be dead for a short time.” Sean confirmed.\\ “Yes, it's perfectly safe; the body will only be dead for a short time.” Sean confirmed.\\
\enquote{So, Flatliners.} I said accusingly, glaring at Micah.\\ \enquote{So, Flatliners.} I said accusingly, glaring at Micah.\\
\enquote{What?} Sean asked.\\ \enquote{What?} Sean asked.\\
\enquote{Flatliners, it's a movie. The characters kill themselves and bring themselves back. If I recall it didn't work out too well for them. But Micah knows that since hes the one that made me watch it!}\\ \enquote{Flatliners, it's a movie. The characters kill themselves and bring themselves back. If I recall it didn't work out too well for them. But Micah knows that since he's the one that made me watch it!}\\
\enquote{That's a Hollywood movie.} Micah said, dryly. \enquote{This is legitimate science.}\\ \enquote{That's a Hollywood movie.} Micah said, dryly. \enquote{This is legitimate science.}\\
\enquote{No, you're Kevin Bacon,” I pointed at him, “he's Kiefer Sutherland,} I pointed at Sean, \enquote{and I'm Julia fucking Roberts!}\\ \enquote{No, you're Kevin Bacon,” I pointed at him, “he's Kiefer Sutherland,} I pointed at Sean, \enquote{and I'm Julia fucking Roberts!}\\
\enquote{No,} Micah said hotly, \enquote{actually \enquote{she's} Julia fucking Roberts!} He pointed to Holly.\\ \enquote{No,} Micah said hotly, \enquote{actually \enquote{she's} Julia fucking Roberts!} He pointed to Holly.\\
@ -97,7 +97,7 @@ I groaned. \$500 was pretty much how short I was on tuition for this semester an
\enquote{Irina, I need you to administer the serums and monitor vital signs. Look guys, this whole thing will take less than a minute and then you guys can walk away with your five hundred dollars and a credit on my thesis.}\\ \enquote{Irina, I need you to administer the serums and monitor vital signs. Look guys, this whole thing will take less than a minute and then you guys can walk away with your five hundred dollars and a credit on my thesis.}\\
\enquote{And what makes your evidence, which is pretty much just your testimony, conclusive?} I asked.\\ \enquote{And what makes your evidence, which is pretty much just your testimony, conclusive?} I asked.\\
\enquote{The serums Sean developed will be available to anyone and everyone and they can repeat my experiment at their leisure.}\\ \enquote{The serums Sean developed will be available to anyone and everyone and they can repeat my experiment at their leisure.}\\
“But I dont think that-“\\ “But I don't think that-“\\
\enquote{Please, Bridget, just show up on Saturday.}\\ \enquote{Please, Bridget, just show up on Saturday.}\\
There wasn't one facet of this little science experiment that didn't make me profoundly uncomfortable. But the way Micah looked at me, the tension in the room, the five hundred dollars\dots\\ There wasn't one facet of this little science experiment that didn't make me profoundly uncomfortable. But the way Micah looked at me, the tension in the room, the five hundred dollars\dots\\
\enquote{I'm not asked, Bridget. I'm begging.} Micah grabbed my hands and squeezed.\\ \enquote{I'm not asked, Bridget. I'm begging.} Micah grabbed my hands and squeezed.\\
@ -111,12 +111,12 @@ Sean and Holly were already laying on two of the beds with nervous smiles on the
Micah handed me an expensive looking, heavy camera. \enquote{The camera in the corner is already recording - that's our static camera. I need you to walk around and record with this one as well. Irina is going to stagger our injections so that she can handle all three of us. You are simply a witness, nothing more.}\\ Micah handed me an expensive looking, heavy camera. \enquote{The camera in the corner is already recording - that's our static camera. I need you to walk around and record with this one as well. Irina is going to stagger our injections so that she can handle all three of us. You are simply a witness, nothing more.}\\
\enquote{Okay\dots Micah, are sure you want to do this?}\\ \enquote{Okay\dots Micah, are sure you want to do this?}\\
\enquote{Bridget, we've been testing this and as long as Romeo is injected in under a minute, which it will be, there is no risk.}\\ \enquote{Bridget, we've been testing this and as long as Romeo is injected in under a minute, which it will be, there is no risk.}\\
\enquote{Theres definitely risk, Micah. And near death experiences-}\\ \enquote{There's definitely risk, Micah. And near death experiences-}\\
\enquote{This isn't a \textit{near} death experience, it's a death experiment. Look, I know youre worried, and thats why I wanted you here, to make sure nothing goes wrong. And even if it does, I have stacks and stacks of notes and narratives proving that this was my experiment.}\\ \enquote{This isn't a \textit{near} death experience, it's a death experiment. Look, I know you're worried, and that's why I wanted you here, to make sure nothing goes wrong. And even if it does, I have stacks and stacks of notes and narratives proving that this was my experiment.}\\
\enquote{Yeah, but\dots}\\ \enquote{Yeah, but\dots}\\
I couldn't think of anything else to say. Any objection I had, Micah would have an answer for. That's just the way he was. There was no stopping him now; I could either be here to see it or be somewhere else to hear about it. I chose to stay.\\ I couldn't think of anything else to say. Any objection I had, Micah would have an answer for. That's just the way he was. There was no stopping him now; I could either be here to see it or be somewhere else to hear about it. I chose to stay.\\
Micah walked over to stand in front of the static camera.\\ Micah walked over to stand in front of the static camera.\\
“Its 12:51PM on Saturday, January 14th. I am Micah York and this is the first attempt of the afterlife experiment.”\\ “It's 12:51PM on Saturday, January 14th. I am Micah York and this is the first attempt of the afterlife experiment.”\\
Micah walked over to his bed and sat down, letting Irina expertly thread a needle into his vein. He lay back on the pillow with a notebook and pen in hand and turned to Sean and Holly.\\ Micah walked over to his bed and sat down, letting Irina expertly thread a needle into his vein. He lay back on the pillow with a notebook and pen in hand and turned to Sean and Holly.\\
\enquote{Remember, guys, as soon as you regain consciousness write down everything you remember.}\\ \enquote{Remember, guys, as soon as you regain consciousness write down everything you remember.}\\
They nodded at him and held up their own notebooks.\\ They nodded at him and held up their own notebooks.\\
@ -130,8 +130,8 @@ Irina hurriedly moved over to Sean and did the same for him and then Holly. Now
\enquote{Get this! Bridget, record this!} It was Micah's EEG and there were zero active brain waves. \enquote{Get Holly and Sean's too!}\\ \enquote{Get this! Bridget, record this!} It was Micah's EEG and there were zero active brain waves. \enquote{Get Holly and Sean's too!}\\
I could suddenly taste a bitter metal in my mouth and I knew I was beginning to panic. This had been a bad idea, a very bad idea. By the time I looked back over to Micah's timer there was 8 seconds left on it. Irina had already loaded up a green tube, the Romeo biologic, to Micah's IV and was just waiting to push it in.\\ I could suddenly taste a bitter metal in my mouth and I knew I was beginning to panic. This had been a bad idea, a very bad idea. By the time I looked back over to Micah's timer there was 8 seconds left on it. Irina had already loaded up a green tube, the Romeo biologic, to Micah's IV and was just waiting to push it in.\\
The chorus of all three EKG machines wildly sounding their alarms was deafening. It was screaming at us: “Do something! DO something! Why are you just standing there? Save them!”\\ The chorus of all three EKG machines wildly sounding their alarms was deafening. It was screaming at us: “Do something! DO something! Why are you just standing there? Save them!”\\
Just when I couldnt stand it anymore, a different alarm buzzed and Irina injected the Romeo into Micahs arm. I didn't breathe at all as I waited for Micah's vital monitors to show life. It took less than 5 seconds for the EKG machine to register a spike. And then another. Micah's EEG machine suddenly flared to life as well. I exhaled.\\ Just when I couldn't stand it anymore, a different alarm buzzed and Irina injected the Romeo into Micah's arm. I didn't breathe at all as I waited for Micah's vital monitors to show life. It took less than 5 seconds for the EKG machine to register a spike. And then another. Micah's EEG machine suddenly flared to life as well. I exhaled.\\
Irina had just stepped over to Sean when Micah suddenly shot up in bed, eyes wide, and opened his mouth. I was so excited and curious that I almost forgot to hold the camera up. I couldnt wait to hear what he had to say.\\ Irina had just stepped over to Sean when Micah suddenly shot up in bed, eyes wide, and opened his mouth. I was so excited and curious that I almost forgot to hold the camera up. I couldn't wait to hear what he had to say.\\
But Micah didn't say anything. He just screamed. The surprise and force of it made me stumble back into a wall. It was the most blood-curling scream I had ever heard. And then, Sean started screaming, too. Micah took no notice of him and threw himself off the bed to the floor, slamming his head on the wood over and over again. Sean had also jumped out of bed and run over to the wall to stand just 2 inches from it, screaming at it, as if he didn't know the wall was there.\\ But Micah didn't say anything. He just screamed. The surprise and force of it made me stumble back into a wall. It was the most blood-curling scream I had ever heard. And then, Sean started screaming, too. Micah took no notice of him and threw himself off the bed to the floor, slamming his head on the wood over and over again. Sean had also jumped out of bed and run over to the wall to stand just 2 inches from it, screaming at it, as if he didn't know the wall was there.\\
My shock quickly gave way to panic. Micah's head was already bloody and the sound it made against the hard oak was sickening.\\ My shock quickly gave way to panic. Micah's head was already bloody and the sound it made against the hard oak was sickening.\\
\enquote{Irina, help me!}\\ \enquote{Irina, help me!}\\
@ -154,12 +154,12 @@ Micah, he's in a hospital too. Sometimes he screams and sometimes he's quiet. So
I have visited them both many times, begging them to tell me what they saw. But my visits were fruitless until this last time.\\ I have visited them both many times, begging them to tell me what they saw. But my visits were fruitless until this last time.\\
Yesterday when I visited Micah he was in his screaming stage. I sat with him and let him scream waiting to see if he would transition to one of his catatonic stages so that I could speak. When I was tired of waiting I leaned in close to his ear and I asked him.\\ Yesterday when I visited Micah he was in his screaming stage. I sat with him and let him scream waiting to see if he would transition to one of his catatonic stages so that I could speak. When I was tired of waiting I leaned in close to his ear and I asked him.\\
\enquote{Micah, what did you see?}\\ \enquote{Micah, what did you see?}\\
His screaming slowly morphed into an insane, uncontrollable laughter Id never heard before. His doctor, whod been just outside, came running into the room.\\ His screaming slowly morphed into an insane, uncontrollable laughter I'd never heard before. His doctor, who'd been just outside, came running into the room.\\
\enquote{What did you do?} He asked, alarmed.\\ \enquote{What did you do?} He asked, alarmed.\\
\enquote{I just asked him a question.} I responded, quietly.\\ \enquote{I just asked him a question.} I responded, quietly.\\
\enquote{What was the question?}\\ \enquote{What was the question?}\\
\enquote{I asked him what he saw.}\\ \enquote{I asked him what he saw.}\\
We both noticed the sudden silence at the same time. We slowly turned toward Micah to find him facing us, no expression on his face.\\ We both noticed the sudden silence at the same time. We slowly turned toward Micah to find him facing us, no expression on his face.\\
\enquote{It's waiting for you. It's waiting for all of you.} Then his mouth fell open into a large O and the laughter slowly began again followed by shrill, horrible screams.\\ \enquote{It's waiting for you. It's waiting for all of you.} Then his mouth fell open into a large O and the laughter slowly began again followed by shrill, horrible screams.\\
I left the hospital that day wishing I had never come at all, wishing I'm never met Micah. I drove home with tears pouring down my cheeks. \textit{What did they see? Whats on the other side? Do I even want to know?} But it really doesnt matter anymore. Someday Ill find out. And so will you. I left the hospital that day wishing I had never come at all, wishing I'm never met Micah. I drove home with tears pouring down my cheeks. \textit{What did they see? What's on the other side? Do I even want to know?} But it really doesn't matter anymore. Someday I'll find out. And so will you.
\end{document} \end{document}